Ask Crouchy - A daily column where Crouchy sorts out your fut troubles.

13
Knowlesdinho
10089 posts Has That Special Something
edited July 20
p67160121.png


Ask Crouchy is a daily column that will be run until the end of FUT 19. Is there an in game goal that you would like Crouchy to score? Post here and Crouchy will endeavour to score it. Do you have a FUT problem that needs answering? Crouchy has seen it all and he will give you the best advice ever.

Only posts that start "Dear Crouchy" will be considered.

I've already had one request from anonymouse (not a typo), he said: Dear Crouchy, I was wondering if you could use your silky skills to cause somebody to score an own goal?

Crouchys' reply:

nWOACdy.gif

Also, I've been freed from jail:

giphy.gif


May the Crouch force be with you!

Note to mods...I do intend to complete as many of these tasks as possible and post gif replies of the goals. This is a kind of RTG with a twist.
Post edited by Knowlesdinho on

Comments

  • Headshrinker363
    4807 posts National Call-Up
    Dear Crouchy,

    Could you please score a diving header, one yard from the ground if possible?
  • Alex_cr
    4783 posts National Call-Up
    Dear Crouchy.

    Remember that goal you scored against Man Citeh? The one where you took it down 35 yards out and hit a blinding volley over Joe Hart, England’s number 1 (😂😂).

    Yeah well I want to see that happen again.

    Good luck Crouchy, truly yours - your biggest fan

    😘
  • Ki3r4nM95
    541 posts An Exciting Prospect
    Dear crouchy

    Remember that amazing overhead kick you scored against galatasary?

    Well can you now score a hat-trick of over head kicks.
  • Thefranchise92
    3552 posts National Call-Up
    Dear Crouchy,

    Can you score a goal where the ball doesnt touch the ground from a goal kick.

    Thanks
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Azof wrote: »
    Dear Crouchy

    I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
    I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
    There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
    Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em

    Dear @Azof

    I'm sorry that Abbey and I didn't reply we've been very busy because I transferred from Stoke to Burnley. The tool you sent Abbey was interesting, a little on the small side if you ask me...but they don't call me 2 meter Peter for nothing. Anyway if you'd like to send us larger tape measure so that Abbey can keep a track of how tall I am...it would be most welcome. Thank you

    Yours sincerely...Crouchy.
  • greggles
    720 posts Semi-Pro
    edited July 20
    dear crouchy make eoae noble a thing please.
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    edited July 20
    greggles wrote: »
    dear crouchy make eoae noble a thing please.

    Dear @greggles

    The cause of which you speak, is a "Noble" cause, "Mark" my words, I will speak to the people at the highest level to get this sorted out for you.

    Yours in eager anticipation...Crouchy.
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    edited July 20
    Alex_cr wrote: »
    Dear Crouchy.

    Remember that goal you scored against Man Citeh? The one where you took it down 35 yards out and hit a blinding volley over Joe Hart, England’s number 1 (😂😂).

    Yeah well I want to see that happen again.

    Good luck Crouchy, truly yours - your biggest fan

    😘
    Dear Crouchy,

    Can you score a goal where the ball doesnt touch the ground from a goal kick.

    Thanks

    Dear @Alex_cr and @Thefranchise92

    As I'm sure you can appreciate...it is difficult for Crouchdinho to replicate all the conditions of the goal that you wish to see. That being said, I have endeavoured to recreate something similar. Please let me know if this satisfies your needs?

    Yours volleytastically, Crouchy.

    1NxMa9C.gif

    For comparison:

  • King_Cantona77
    265 posts Sunday League Hero
    Dear Crouchy

    Can you fix tonights Futtie so we get SMS instead of boring, dinosaur face Kyle Walker?

    Kind regards
    C
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Dear Crouchy

    Can you fix tonights Futtie so we get SMS instead of boring, dinosaur face Kyle Walker?

    Kind regards
    C

    Dear @King_Cantona77

    As a former England international, I must decline this request. Hopefully you understand that patriotism comes before what is actually the right thing to do?

    Yours patriotically, Crouchy.
  • King_Cantona77
    265 posts Sunday League Hero
    Dear Crouchy

    Can you fix tonights Futtie so we get SMS instead of boring, dinosaur face Kyle Walker?

    Kind regards
    C

    Dear @King_Cantona77

    As a former England international, I must decline this request. Hopefully you understand that patriotism comes before what is actually the right thing to do?

    Yours patriotically, Crouchy.

    😂😂
  • greggles
    720 posts Semi-Pro
    * dear crouchy
    Alex_cr wrote: »
    Dear Crouchy.

    Remember that goal you scored against Man Citeh? The one where you took it down 35 yards out and hit a blinding volley over Joe Hart, England’s number 1 (😂😂).

    Yeah well I want to see that happen again.

    Good luck Crouchy, truly yours - your biggest fan

    😘
    Dear Crouchy,

    Can you score a goal where the ball doesnt touch the ground from a goal kick.

    Thanks

    Dear @Alex_cr and @Thefranchise92

    As I'm sure you can appreciate...it is difficult for Crouchdinho to replicate all the conditions of the goal that you wish to see. That being said, I have endeavoured to recreate something similar. Please let me know if this satisfies your needs?

    Yours volleytastically, Crouchy.

    1NxMa9C.gif

    For comparison:


    tbf that is impressive
  • Headshrinker363
    4807 posts National Call-Up
    greggles wrote: »
    * dear crouchy
    Alex_cr wrote: »
    Dear Crouchy.

    Remember that goal you scored against Man Citeh? The one where you took it down 35 yards out and hit a blinding volley over Joe Hart, England’s number 1 (😂😂).

    Yeah well I want to see that happen again.

    Good luck Crouchy, truly yours - your biggest fan

    😘
    Dear Crouchy,

    Can you score a goal where the ball doesnt touch the ground from a goal kick.

    Thanks

    Dear @Alex_cr and @Thefranchise92

    As I'm sure you can appreciate...it is difficult for Crouchdinho to replicate all the conditions of the goal that you wish to see. That being said, I have endeavoured to recreate something similar. Please let me know if this satisfies your needs?

    Yours volleytastically, Crouchy.

    1NxMa9C.gif

    For comparison:


    tbf that is impressive

  • Crysister
    960 posts Semi-Pro
    Dear Crouchy

    Im in love with Lord Bendtner, but you are nice too. Can I only love one?

    Tnx in advance!
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Crysister wrote: »
    Dear Crouchy

    Im in love with Lord Bendtner, but you are nice too. Can I only love one?

    Tnx in advance!

    Dear @Crysister

    Well Lord Bendtner is certainly a catch, and I’m flattered that you like me too. I guess you need to ask yourself who you would like grow old with? Once you know the answer to that question, you’ll know where your heart truly lies...but I’m here for you if you choose me.

    Yours lovingly, Crouchy
  • Seanregal
    510 posts An Exciting Prospect
    Dear Crouchy could you "fix it" for me and my scout troop. To eat doughnuts and ice cream on a roller coaster please. PS: You seem much nicer than that other fella we used to write to in the 80s
  • Alex_cr
    4783 posts National Call-Up
    Dear Crouchy.

    That volley was a blinder!

    Now, with your stature I think you could have carried on as a keeper. How about you show us your skills between the sticks and keep a clean sheet?
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Seanregal wrote: »
    Dear Crouchy could you "fix it" for me and my scout troop. To eat doughnuts and ice cream on a roller coaster please. PS: You seem much nicer than that other fella we used to write to in the 80s

    Dear @Seanregal

    Since the 80s, men over 35 are to be judged with suspicion if they offer to take children unsupervised to a theme park with the offer of sweet treats, therefore, I must decline this request.

    Yours cautiously, Crouchy.
  • Gnomenclature
    2629 posts Fans' Favourite
    Dear crouch,

    Is there anyway that I can get matched with people that aren't several 1000 miles away from me? I'm in california and 90% of my matches are against people in South america...the gameplay is so bad that I can literally see grey hair popping out on my beard in real time.
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Dear crouch,

    Is there anyway that I can get matched with people that aren't several 1000 miles away from me? I'm in california and 90% of my matches are against people in South america...the gameplay is so bad that I can literally see grey hair popping out on my beard in real time.

    Dear @Gnomenclature,

    One of the main reasons for deforestation in South America, is so that our South American cousins can enjoy online gameplay. What is suffering more? Your connection, or biodiversity? Crouchy doesn't know because he's strictly neutral on political matters.

    Yours climate changingly, Crouchy.
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Crouchy is signing off for the night. Tomorrow he will attempt @Headshrinker363 diving header and @Ki3r4nM95 overhead kicks.

    Crouchy thinks the diving header will be the hardest!
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    edited July 21
    Dear @Ki3r4nM95

    I didn't want you to think that I'd forgotten about you. I am endeavouring to score a hattrick of overhead kicks, but people keep quitting on me because of the overpowered nature of my play. Will 1 do?

    As a teaser for what I'm thinking of here's one of my failed attempts:

    3GLddet.gif
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Dear @Headshrinker363

    I have been trying to achieve the diving header, but it doesn't seem to be working out for me. I will continue trying, but if you would like to suggest something else in the mean time, I'm happy to oblige.

    Yours head scratchingly, Crouchy.
  • Headshrinker363
    4807 posts National Call-Up
    Dear @Headshrinker363

    I have been trying to achieve the diving header, but it doesn't seem to be working out for me. I will continue trying, but if you would like to suggest something else in the mean time, I'm happy to oblige.

    Yours head scratchingly, Crouchy.

    No worries Crouchy, thought it would be a hard one, would love to see you fly through the air, in anyway at all.
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Dear @Ki3r4nM95

    I have now achieved a spectacular overhead kick, but as I suspected, this resulted in an instant rage quit. I hope this satisfies your needs.

    Yours spectacularly, Crouchy.

    vqe185G.gif
  • RayS
    25287 posts Player of the Year
    Dear Crochy,

    This is amazing.

    P.S. I didn't realize Crouchy had the sufficient agility to to overhead kick :D
  • Knowlesdinho
    10089 posts Has That Special Something
    Dear @RayS

    Who’s Crochy?

    Yours confusedly, Crouchy
  • Seanregal
    510 posts An Exciting Prospect
    Dear @RayS

    Who’s Crochy?

    Yours confusedly, Crouchy

    Oooooh grouchy crouchy
  • RayS
    25287 posts Player of the Year
    Dear @RayS

    Who’s Crochy?

    Yours confusedly, Crouchy

    :D :D
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