Overheard conversation....



  • EricVanDerek
    696 posts Semi-Pro
    Boss: Hi, lad. Come in...
    SA: Thanks boss
    Boss: So - how can I help you? Do you want to do some work experience with us - help Derek cut up the half-time oranges?
    SA: No boss. I'm one of your players.
    Boss: Really?!?
    SA: Yes boss. I'm Santiago Arias. You got me at Christmas. I think your exact words when you signed me were: "He's so flipping' cheap..."
    Boss: Ah... right. I remember now.


    Boss: Have you played for us at all?
    SA: I played in the last match.
    Boss: Oh yes. At right back?
    SA: Yes.
    Boss: Yes... (pause) Now, I can understand you being a bit rusty and everything, given you've never played, but surely you do know that one of the main jobs of being a defender is to track runs? But when they had their first break, I couldn't help but notice that you started tracking Neymar really well, and then you.... Well, you stopped for a second. It looked a bit like you'd suddenly forgotten whether you'd left the oven on at home?

    SA: Yes. Sorry about that boss. I just got confused. It's... well, I remember your final instructions to me before I started were to help assist a goal.
    Boss: Yes, that's correct.
    SA: The boys says you need those assists to get more players, because you're desperate to bring in even more players that you'll never actually use...
    Boss: Enough now...
    SA: Sorry... So, anyway, I wondered whether I should be tracking back at all, because I can't assist from inside my own penalty box....

    (sound of boss sobbing...)

    [Note: Santiago is at the top of the screen in the clip, playing right back. I'm controlling Luiz, so why does Santiago just stop running ?!?]

  • AB: Hey boss!
    Boss: Hi Alisson
    (sound of boss sniggering....)

    AB: Really?!? You're still finding it funny?
    Boss: Sorry. I just can't help myself...

    AB: I know why you wanted to see me boss. That last game - the goal I let in?
    Boss: Yep.
    AB: It's just - I hit a wall.
    Boss: It's ok, I understand. 90 minutes is a long time to play when you're not really doing anything. It's tiring standing around doing squat all watching your team control the game at 2-0. So when you're finally called into action, you've got no energy left--

    AB: No. I really did hit an actual wall. Someone built an invisible wall across part of my goal, so I couldn't get to the ball....

    (sound of boss sobbing....)

  • Boss: Lads, thanks for coming in.
    LB: Who are you?
    Boss: Seriously Lauren? I'm your boss. Your manager, your gaffer, your head honcho...
    AB: You still haven't been fired?!?
    Boss: No Alisson. I have not been fired. Because I'm doing a damn fine job. (pause) Given what I'm working with.
    KDB: Hey you f****** b**** h***, what's that supposed to mean?

    Boss: Well, I'd love to have holographic players like the other managers.
    PV: That's discriminatory boss.
    Boss: No Pat, holographic. You know - virtual players, balls pass through their bodies as if they weren't there. So they can get impossible shots off, without having to worry about their bodies getting in the way.

    AB: But we do that boss. The balls regularly pass through us.

    Boss: Yes they do Alex. They do pass through you. But that's not ideal when you're trying to stop a last minute equaliser, is it?

    (sound of boss sobbing...)

  • AB: Boss?

    (sound of boss sobbing...)

  • Riftydogg1
    100 posts Has Potential To Be Special
  • Chavez76
    2514 posts Fans' Favourite
    AB: Boss?

    (sound of boss sobbing...)

    this happening at your last WL game when you need one more win.. I dont think my controller would survive that.
  • EricVanDerek
    696 posts Semi-Pro
    edited July 18
    Chavez76 wrote: »
    this happening at your last WL game when you need one more win.. I dont think my controller would survive that.

    Do these sort of things, which seem to happen regularly in "casual" FIFA, occur in the Pro tournaments?
    I'd love to see how the commentators would report it in a way that's not simply:

    "Oh. [Removed - CM] me. Eric can't do anything about that, because the game's utter rubbish...."

    Post edited by EA_Joz on
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